Grief Inventory
(This process was shared with me by my sponsor after my husband died and is not in the Big Book.)
It is important to do this in the order indicated below.
Maybe start the process by saying a prayer for God to reveal the healing truth.
1. Time line of memories
2. Free writing on another paper perhaps in letter form.
3. Close the experience with a ritual of release that feels sacred to you. For example, you might share the memories and writing at a site that was special for you and that person or at a grave site, etc. You might do this with another person in a way similar to a fifth step or by yourself.
(This process was shared with me by my sponsor after my husband died and is not in the Big Book.)
It is important to do this in the order indicated below.
Maybe start the process by saying a prayer for God to reveal the healing truth.
1. Time line of memories
- Draw a horizontal line across the middle of a paper turned so it is longest left to right.
- Draw two stick figures to represent yourself and the person on the left endpoint of the line.
- Draw one stick figure at the right end of the line to represent you alone today, without that person.
- In a bubble stemming from the left endpoint of the line, write your 1st conscious memory of the person.
- Last conscious memory of the person towards the right endpoint of the line (it might be above or below).
- Write memories that bring peace, joy, or pleasure above the line in bubbles, (moving somewhat chronologically from left to right).
- Write memories that bring agitation, tension, or pain in bubbles below the line.
Note: be sure to have at least 2 things above and 2 below the line before letting it flow and filling it in as it comes.
2. Free writing on another paper perhaps in letter form.
- Write anything left unsaid: words of love, hurts, regrets, fears.
- Write what you would like to be forgiven for?
- What I would like to forgive the person for?
- Express why you are grateful for the person and the relationship .
- Say goodbye.
3. Close the experience with a ritual of release that feels sacred to you. For example, you might share the memories and writing at a site that was special for you and that person or at a grave site, etc. You might do this with another person in a way similar to a fifth step or by yourself.
Thank you my sister-friend poet Amanda for sending this at the perfect moment.
