Sculpture by Sara Stevenson
Pleas
God, don't make
me a liar
I told my baby
you'd heal her,
stand by her,
that we were led
step by step
that we were protected
that she'd get through this
that all'd be righted
restored
delivered
that words would return
hands would play
feet run
lovers would come
Please God
Please GOD
I trust you
I trusted you
show us your way
show us how
to move through this
we're not asking for
perfection -
but obliteration
of so much?
come on Lord
this is fucked up
guide her out
from the cave
answer her prayers
save!
her soul
her loves
gifts, dreams
send your energy
into all the torn seams
of body, mind,
Spirit
guide LORD,
show
why it matters
we pray,
obey
we see you slay
the dragons
of despair
pride
loneliness
Prince of the Air
she's down LORD
She's sad
from loss of all
she had;
a brave girl
with big heart
integrity
and believed in Thee
you want to drive
her away?
make her say
"There is no God
no way!
otherwise God'd be with
me today."
Show up!
majestically
move a mountain
please
pretty PLEASE.
A plea for mercy
for healing
for relief
for joy, play,
authentic belief
nn my knees
with PLEAS.
***
Momma Prayer
My sweet LORD,
I pray to know
when to let go,
provide home,
"shake the nest,"
to listen, to rest,
to speak or zip lips,
go hard, open arms,
close doors, allow harm,
advise, extract;
intervene, see attacked,
pay bills, withhold cash,
offer, let ask,
bail out, leave be,
forgive silently,
speak a grudge - lovingly,
show up with take out,
cook a meal, shout,
text, call,
do dishes,
prevent a fall,
sit with wishes,
impossible tensions,
left in suspension,
guide to comply,
suggest to rebel,
keep them out,
way, way, way
out of hell,
to find
what guides them well
Your power within
fears will quell
where momma no can go
they face alone
Let it all be
as it will be
for eternity
let it be unto me
from Your Infinite Love,
gentle as a dove
unbreakable chord
my sweet LORD.
***
My sweet LORD,
I pray to know
when to let go,
provide home,
"shake the nest,"
to listen, to rest,
to speak or zip lips,
go hard, open arms,
close doors, allow harm,
advise, extract;
intervene, see attacked,
pay bills, withhold cash,
offer, let ask,
bail out, leave be,
forgive silently,
speak a grudge - lovingly,
show up with take out,
cook a meal, shout,
text, call,
do dishes,
prevent a fall,
sit with wishes,
impossible tensions,
left in suspension,
guide to comply,
suggest to rebel,
keep them out,
way, way, way
out of hell,
to find
what guides them well
Your power within
fears will quell
where momma no can go
they face alone
Let it all be
as it will be
for eternity
let it be unto me
from Your Infinite Love,
gentle as a dove
unbreakable chord
my sweet LORD.
***
Lullaby Prayer
Lord God,
let my baby sleep
let her heal
let her weep
let the tears roll
let out the soul's
cry from her deep.
Give her a sigh
to her bones
the kind where sweet
pours over head's dome
spreads honey home
from crown to feet
cells release
give way to peace
beyond the known
where stars float
angels dwell
where heaven within
foretells
a true space
of "all is well"
no head hell
sweet suspension
freedom from tension
Lord God,
let my baby sleep
let her heal
let her weep
let the tears roll
let out the soul's
cry from the deep
bring her sleep.
***
Lord God,
let my baby sleep
let her heal
let her weep
let the tears roll
let out the soul's
cry from her deep.
Give her a sigh
to her bones
the kind where sweet
pours over head's dome
spreads honey home
from crown to feet
cells release
give way to peace
beyond the known
where stars float
angels dwell
where heaven within
foretells
a true space
of "all is well"
no head hell
sweet suspension
freedom from tension
Lord God,
let my baby sleep
let her heal
let her weep
let the tears roll
let out the soul's
cry from the deep
bring her sleep.
***
Surgery
My sweet Lord,
we pray this surgery
be closure to pain
new freedom
new peace
in humility
knowing your will will be
knowing your free
is not our free
necessarily;
My sweet Lord,
remember this creation's
peculiar twists,
her gifts,
your child
who from early age
recognized her mind
as precious stage
for thought, puzzles,
music, she sees
its capacity
objectively,
"Momma, I want it to keep!"
remember our child -
12-hour obsessed
could not rest
fixated, subjugated
by new wrist tattoo
excruciating mind pain
Zero tolerance
mental interference;
My sweet Lord,
as doctors enter
keep your intent -
a mind safe, encased
not in bone
but Spirit-homed
it's a package problem
a case of tangled vein's
flow and case
taking too much space
shoving pushing
stretching, mushing;
My sweet Lord,
Guide doctors,
nurses to
lovingly look
within who
has little sin,
no infringement
to enter
her sanctuary,
holy of holies
wherein angels abound;
let tenderness
care exude
as time to remove
what blocks my babe
- so many -
from destiny;
My sweet Lord,
we humbly realize
white privileged
it is to be
awake to the danger
of tangled web
in her head
that has led
to blindness, pain,
constraints,
these many years
grateful to be here
so near
from moment
surgery's advent;
My sweet Lord
cut with peace,
clip with love
gentle as dove
wise as serpent
cooing, renewing,
hissing, soothing,
smoothing,
blood's path
fluidly through
with precision well-honed
terrain well-known
a path previously sown
by dedicated angels
and other surgeons
who learn to uncover
what needs extraction
physical detraction.
My sweet Lord,
as you enter those depths
guide all minds to turn
let precedents churn
to access best paths
deescalate bloats
flatten slip slopes
wind your thoughts
to guide calm closure
steadfast composure
once job is done
exit team as one
close her up
scarred externally
renewed internally
healing steadily,
secure eternally.
Thank you for listening, my Sweet Lord.
***
ICU Gethsemane
Get her out
from under,
begging you
sweating through
shirts pants
in ICU
Gethsemane;
make dendrites
flow where they 'posed
to go
make it RIGHT
righteous
whole
complete
set her free
I cry to thee!
Words fail -
should be
OUT-LAWED
OUT-LAUD
gotten GONE
obliterated;
hovering verbal police
prohibit saying
ANY-THING
because
EVERY-THING
is wrong
misses
every word fails
WAY OFF
the mark -
invalidates
human heart;
Art fails -
make it illegal
give it “F”
paint
plaster
clay
all LAME,
TIGHT,
except to throw
over cliffs
off sky scrapers
out helicopters
from mid-skydives
watch Mona Lisa
haystacks
pietas
SMASH
splintered trash;
I need a lover
to fuck all night
to cuddle for days
to hold me tight
i need ocean swimming
hurricane running
tabernacle burning
heart to heart
with Job,
momma Jenn
Someone not nice-bound
not confined
reduced
not unarmed
someone with a forty four
a sword
a whipper snapper
rapper-rebel
keep the dogs out
bullshit smeller;
Talk LORD,
silent science-guy,
take this chair
explain!
you
who fathoms deep
measures breadth
sees far
created stars
molds hearts
knitted minds
creates sublime
intelligent energy
design;
what’s the reason
the rhyme
the beat
the why???
Word began
it all
yet
FALL
FLAT
fail utterly
too small
to shatter ceiling
smash feeling
enraged
encaged
let us sing
let freedom RING
generate thunder
ROAR!!!!!!
Get her out
from under,
begging you
sweating through
shirts pants
in ICU
Gethsemane;
make dendrites
flow where they 'posed
to go
make it RIGHT
righteous
whole
complete
set her free
I cry to thee!
***
Get her out
from under,
begging you
sweating through
shirts pants
in ICU
Gethsemane;
make dendrites
flow where they 'posed
to go
make it RIGHT
righteous
whole
complete
set her free
I cry to thee!
Words fail -
should be
OUT-LAWED
OUT-LAUD
gotten GONE
obliterated;
hovering verbal police
prohibit saying
ANY-THING
because
EVERY-THING
is wrong
misses
every word fails
WAY OFF
the mark -
invalidates
human heart;
Art fails -
make it illegal
give it “F”
paint
plaster
clay
all LAME,
TIGHT,
except to throw
over cliffs
off sky scrapers
out helicopters
from mid-skydives
watch Mona Lisa
haystacks
pietas
SMASH
splintered trash;
I need a lover
to fuck all night
to cuddle for days
to hold me tight
i need ocean swimming
hurricane running
tabernacle burning
heart to heart
with Job,
momma Jenn
Someone not nice-bound
not confined
reduced
not unarmed
someone with a forty four
a sword
a whipper snapper
rapper-rebel
keep the dogs out
bullshit smeller;
Talk LORD,
silent science-guy,
take this chair
explain!
you
who fathoms deep
measures breadth
sees far
created stars
molds hearts
knitted minds
creates sublime
intelligent energy
design;
what’s the reason
the rhyme
the beat
the why???
Word began
it all
yet
FALL
FLAT
fail utterly
too small
to shatter ceiling
smash feeling
enraged
encaged
let us sing
let freedom RING
generate thunder
ROAR!!!!!!
Get her out
from under,
begging you
sweating through
shirts pants
in ICU
Gethsemane;
make dendrites
flow where they 'posed
to go
make it RIGHT
righteous
whole
complete
set her free
I cry to thee!
***
Guide Me, God
How can I emerge
from this cocoon of comfort?
How do I escape
from lies that keep me home?
How to not sedate
this agitated spirit
that's moved by deepest love
not from ambitious pride?
Guide me God
Guide me Friend
Guide me Spirit
to where you need my voice
How will my love show up
in this world?
How can I express
the motion of my soul?
How do I find room
for what's been honed within me?
Where do you need these gifts
to unify, to heal?
Guide me God
Guide me Friend
Guide me Spirit
to where you need my hands
What little steps to take
to join your larger battle?
What pathway will you show
to lead me on the way?
Where do I place my feet
to serve the need around me?
How will you clear the haze
that keeps me in a daze?
Guide me God
Guide me Friend
Guide me Spirit
to where you need my mind.
Let me be still and hear
the voice within me;
let me slow down and wait
til next steps are made clear;
let me have faith you'll show
the path to where you need me;
free me of my fear;
show me who to be.
Guide me God
Guide me Friend
Guide me Spirit
to where you need my voice,
my hands,
my mind,
my strength
to where you need my love!
***
Parents' Prayer
Holy Spirit,
they have their own inner light
let me encourage,
them to listen,
their own way to fight
never compete or critique
to dampen or block their brilliance
their illumination of you
like Ester
El Roi
they have their own tears,
anger, bewilderment
their own loneliness
where you see them
as no one can
I pray not seek to shield
them from the circumstances
of their life
like Hagar
Creator
they have their own passion
let me dance with them
or marvel at their song
share the music of the planets
their taste of you
their failings and betrayal, too
like David
God
they have their own role
let me trust it
not deafen or silence
edit or amend
their connection,
their humility,
their portal into your will for them
like John the Baptist
Yahweh
they have their own conscience
their own liberation
to empower your emancipation
to be an image of "I am"
frighteningly close to you
outraged by the golden calf
like Moses
Abba
they have their own soul
let me nurture them
watch,
not pull or push
their choices
their inheritance from you
let them walk on water
heal the sick
give sight to the blind
like Jesus
Holy Spirit,
they have their own inner light
let me encourage,
them to listen,
their own way to fight
never compete or critique
to dampen or block their brilliance
their illumination of you
like Ester
El Roi
they have their own tears,
anger, bewilderment
their own loneliness
where you see them
as no one can
I pray not seek to shield
them from the circumstances
of their life
like Hagar
Creator
they have their own passion
let me dance with them
or marvel at their song
share the music of the planets
their taste of you
their failings and betrayal, too
like David
God
they have their own role
let me trust it
not deafen or silence
edit or amend
their connection,
their humility,
their portal into your will for them
like John the Baptist
Yahweh
they have their own conscience
their own liberation
to empower your emancipation
to be an image of "I am"
frighteningly close to you
outraged by the golden calf
like Moses
Abba
they have their own soul
let me nurture them
watch,
not pull or push
their choices
their inheritance from you
let them walk on water
heal the sick
give sight to the blind
like Jesus
✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
A Blessing
May God bless and keep you,
Make its light to shine upon you,
flow into you,
Make known its Presence unto you
And gift you sanctuary within your soul.
💙🙏🏻🕊
(Derived from Numbers 6:24-26)
A Blessing
May God bless and keep you,
Make its light to shine upon you,
flow into you,
Make known its Presence unto you
And gift you sanctuary within your soul.
💙🙏🏻🕊
(Derived from Numbers 6:24-26)