Questions through the Big Book

How have I had and do I have trouble with personal relationships?
What evidence is there that I can not control my emotional nature?
Am I prey to misery and depression?
Am I full of fear?
Do I have a feeling of uselessness?
Can I make a living?
Am I of real help to other people?
Is it possible that drinking, using, and binging were the solution, not really the problem after all?

Read
9. Read "We Agnostics" from the beginning up to page 45, "But where and how were we to find this power?" Highlight what resonates.

10: What morals and philosophies do I have and/or was I raised with? Give examples of how a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life is insufficient to overcome alcoholism.

Page 45
11. How is lack of Power (physically, mentally, and emotionally/spiritually) my dilemma? (Remember the legs of the triangle?)

12. Have I "conceded to the innermost core of my being" my truth in Step One (page 30)? What is my truth?

Question 12 marks the CLOSE of Step One.

Chapter 4: We Agnostics
(The Spiritual Solution)

Change the Set Aside Prayer to focus on Step 2.
"God please set aside for me what I think I know about Step 2, so that I may have an open mind and heart for a new experience. Please show me the truth. Amen."

(Look up willingness, prejudice, conception)

Read
1. Read pages 45 to 47 from "Well, that's exactly what this book is about. ..." up to "...spiritual structure can be built." Highlight and reflect on what stands out. Change my Set Aside Prayer to set aside what I think I know about Step 2 (see above).

Page 45-46
2. Have I had doubt and prejudice towards a Higher Power?
What childhood experiences may have shaped my idea of God? For example: church, parents, school, peers, spirituality, any or all religion, atheism, music, media...
What experiences, calamities, people, organizations may have undermined my faith in a Higher Power?
What experiences may have encouraged faith?

Page 46
3. What moments of awe and wonder have I experienced?

Page 46
4. How might I describe my own idea (conception) of God? Consider those "moments of awe and wonder" when trying to use words in that effort.

Page 47
5. What spiritual terms do I know of, and have seen in the Big Book? These terms might include spiritual principles underlying the Steps (e.g., humility, hope, faith, honesty, integrity, willingness, surrender, forgiveness, justice, perseverance, prayer, meditation, service...).
Or they might include spiritual terms for God (e.g., Power, Realm of Spirit, Spirit of the Universe, Supreme Being, Creative Intelligence...).
Highlight any of the spiritual terms that make me cringe at all.
What do a few of these spiritual terms mean to me? Look up some of them in the dictionary to get ideas.

Page 47
6. Am I willing to believe there is a Power greater than myself that can take me past the "grim truth" (BB page 144) of Step One, that can allow me to live happy, joyous, free, and sober?
Look up the word "cornerstone." How does the cornerstone of a building relate to the work in Step 2?

Chapter 4: We Agnostics
(Step 2: The Spiritual Solution continued)

The Spiritual Solution

(Look up obstinance, sensitiveness, reason, faith)

Read
7. Read from page 47: "That was great news to us..." through to the very top of page 53: "We began to feel like those who had insisted the Wrights would never fly." Highlight and reflect on what resonates.

Read
8. Read Appendix II "Spiritual Experience". Highlight and reflect on what most stands out. What did I need most to hear?

Page 48
9. “Faced with alcoholic destruction, we soon became as open minded on spiritual matters as we had tried to be on other questions. In this respect, alcohol* was a great persuader. It finally beat us into a state of reasonableness.” *(and the unmanageability, the bedevilments) Reflect on that. What comes up?

Page 48
10. Give at least one personal example that "visual proof is the weakest proof," or that "outward appearances are not inward reality at all."

Page 49
11. Who do I know whose life has been given purpose and direction because of faith? Do I know about how they came to believe or how they came to dedicate themselves to their spiritual path or religion?
In what ways do they demonstrate stability and usefulness?

Page 51
12. What are the characteristics of "the realm of the spirit" and "the realm of the material"?

Chapter 4: We Agnostics
(Step 2: The Spiritual Solution continued)

The Spiritual Solution
(look up worship, consciousness, belief, restore, saint)

Read
13. Read from the top of 53 through the end of "We Agnostics." Highlight and reflect on what resonates.

Page 53
14. "We had to fearlessly face the proposition that God is everything or else God is nothing. God either is, or isn't. What was our choice to be?" What is my choice?

Page 54
15. "Had we not variously worshipped people, sentiment, things, money, and ourselves?" What have I worshipped? What have I worshipped "with a better motive"?
Have I ever had any experience where everything seemed, no matter how messy, to be exactly as it was supposed to be?

Page 54
16. "Imagine life without faith." What would mine look like?

Page 55
17. "We found the Great Reality deep down within us. In the last analysis it is only there that God may be found. It was so with us." How is that true and/or not true for me? Where do I find the Great Reality?

Page 55
18. How has "the consciousness of your belief ... come to you"? Describe examples from experience of

how "prejudice has been swept away"
"thinking honestly "
"searching diligently"

Chapter 5: How It Works
(Close of Step 2: The Spiritual Solution)

How it Works: Close of Step 2, The Spiritual Solution

(Look up honesty, balk, principles, saint, and perfection)

Read
19. Read from page 58 "Rarely have we seen a person fail..." to page 60, "...That God could and would if ... sought." Highlight and reflect on what resonates.

Page 58
20. What evidence is there from my experience that I am capable of being honest with myself?

Page 58
21. What evidence is there from my experience that I do or do not suffer from "grave emotional and mental disorders"?

Page 60
22. What spiritual principle(s) do I see in each step? (No "right" answer. Each step may suggest more than one principle.)

Page 60
23. Give a few examples of what "spiritual progress" or to "grow along spiritual lines" might actually look like in my sober and clean life. Why is "spiritual perfection" NOT the goal?

Page 60
24. Am I convinced of the a, b, c's? Yes/no is FINE!

This question marks the CLOSE of Step Two.

Chapter 5: How It Works
(Start of Step 3: The Decision for God)

Change the Set Aside Prayer to focus on Step 3.
"God please set aside for me what I think I know about Step 3, so that I may have an open mind and heart for a new experience. Please show me the truth. Amen."

How it Works Step 3
(look up success, self-centeredness, selfishness, keystone)

Read
1. Read from page 60 "Being convinced, we were at Step Three..." up to page 63, "We were reborn." Highlight and reflect on what resonates.

Page 60
2. The book says that the first requirement of Step 3 is that we be convinced that "ANY life based on self-will can hardly be a success." What does "success" mean to me? Whose life or whose lives do I consider a "success"? Remember, interview, or do research to find out what their life is based on.

Pages 60-61
3. Give concrete examples from my current sober life of how I try to be "an actor who wants to run the whole show?" How do I try to "play God"?
How am I "demanding" in some circumstances when trying to get my way? How am I "gracious" in others?
How am I "a victim of the delusion that I can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if I only manage well"?

Page 62
4. Describe what "self-centeredness" looks, sounds, and feels like in my thoughts and emotions (interior life): e.g. relationships, work, food, money, parenting, sexuality... (remember it's a description not a condemnation!)

Page 62
5. How am I "self-will run riot in my actions,* though I usually don't think so"? *(exterior life)
When and how do I deny my self-will?

Page 62
6. The book says, "We had to quit playing God" and decide that God is going to be the "Director," "Principal," "Father" "Employer"... that I am the actor, agent, child, employee. Some people say God is the Potter and I am the clay, the Choreographer and I am the dancer. What concept or concepts work best for me?

Page 63
7. The Third Step promises are sketched in the first paragraph of page 63. When have I experienced some of these promises in my sobriety?

Chapter 5: How It Works
(Close of Step 3)

How it Works: Close of Step 3

Read
8. Read and review the Third Step Prayer and the last paragraph on page 63. Highlight and reflect on what resonates.

Page 63
9. What does the prayer itself mean to me? Each line?

10. Rewrite the Step Three Prayer if so inclined using words that capture what it means to me. Possibly talk to others about their Third Step decision and what it means to them.

11. When ready to make the decision to turn my life over, schedule a time to do so with a sponsor, best friend, priest, rabbi, Iman, teacher, therapist... . Maybe consider where to say it. Is there a special place? I've taken the Third Step in a church, in a coffee shop bathroom, in the parking lot of a diner at midnight, at someone's house, in a beautiful park at night.

The event of saying the prayer marks the CLOSE of Step Three.

12. Stop saying the Set Aside Prayer so that my new relationship to God as I understand God can be embraced and has a chance to sink in.
Instead, say the Third Step Prayer each morning.

Chapter 5: How It Works
(Step 4: Resentment Inventory, Column One)

How it Works: Step 4
(Look up "spiritual disease")

Step 4: Resentment Inventory, Column One
Page 63
1. Read from "Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action..." to "...with whom we were angry." at the bottom of page 64. Highlight and reflect on what resonates.

2. Think about an inventory process in a grocery. We are going to do "exactly the same thing with our lives." How might an owner of a business "fool themselves about values"? (No need to write.)

3. Always start your inventory each time by writing a prayer to see the truth. The prayer that was given to me is "Write through me God your healing and liberating truth please. Thy will be done." Or, something simple like, "Higher Power, please show me the truth."

Three thoughts:

Let it flow.
Don't censor.
What you don't put down, you get to keep.

4. The following is a a suggested tool to help "go back through your life":

Make a set of time lines with zero (0) as your birth.
The first line goes from age 0 to 7,
the next from 7 to 14,
the next from 14 to 21, etc...
up to or just past your current age.

Next, use the lines to help you remember the people you are resentful, angry at, or who have interfered with you, or who hurt, depressed, disappointed or threatened you. Go back through your life starting when you were a child. Only list the people who make you FEEL emotion today.

5. List the institutions you are angry at, are hurt by, threatened you, interfered with you (e.g., jails, prisons, hospitals, schools, churches, insurance companies, big pharma, corporations, etc.) Go back through your life starting when you were a child. Only list the institutions that make you FEEL emotion today.

6. List the principles you are angry at, hurt by, threatened by, or that have interfered with you.

The following are examples of principles, i.e. fundamental beliefs or rules:

Religion: I resent the hypocrisy I see in religious communities. I resent the "restrictions" of the "religious" life.
Morality or society: I resent political correctness; the tyranny of "thinness"; that men are paid more than women for the same job; racial inequality. I resent the principle that your income is your value...
AA: I resent the principle that I must put sobriety first; that AA is about finding God; that you shouldn’t get into a relationship in the first year.
Nature: I resent that we all have to die; natural disasters; survival of the fittest; that bad things happen to good people.
Government: I resent taxes; wasteful government spending.

Note: Clarification of "principles" derived from All12Steps.com

7, Look back over the list to see if you have omitted anyone or anything or if you have included someone or something that doesn't belong.

Chapter 5: How It Works
(Step 4: Resentment Inventory, Column Two)

How it Works
Step 4: Resentment Inventory, Column Two

Page 64
8. "We asked ourselves why we were angry." This is the second column. (The first column is the name of the person, institution, or principle.)
The layout now matters. A spiral notebook works well. To the left of the left margin is column 1. To the right of it, is column 2. See the picture below.

Again, always start your inventory each time you write by writing a prayer to see the truth.
Remember the three thoughts:

Let it flow.
Don't censor.
What you don't put down, you get to keep.

Write why you are angry, disappointed, threatened, interfered with. State your case! You can keep it really brief like the Big Book or let it pour out on the paper.
If you write a LOT you might look it over after and circle the core reason or reasons you're angry.

Chapter 5: How It Works
(Step 4: Resentment Inventory, Column Three)

How it Works
Step 4: Resentment Inventory, Column Three

Pages 64-65
9. Read from "We asked ourselves why we were angry. ..." through to "We went back through our lives"
Opposite each name, write what part of yourself was injured: called by some, the 7 areas of self

self-esteem (who I am)
ambition (what I want)
security (what I need)
pride (how others should see me)
personal relations (my relationships with others)
sex relations (my sense of myself as a woman)
pocketbook (my investment in money, time, emotion...)

Jot down when you see fear, too, as they have done in the Big Book on page 65.

Note: If this isn't your first inventory, or if you want more complexity to the third column, click below for other options for extending the third column. Scroll down to where it says, "Third Column."

Extended 3rd Column

Chapter 5: How It Works
(Step 4: Resentment Inventory Realization)

How it Works
Step 4: Resentment Inventory Realization

10. When completely finished with the third column writing, read pages 65-66 from "We went back through our lives..." to "We could not wish them away any more than alcohol." at the bottom of page 66. Highlight what resonates.

11. Looking at what you have written in your inventory so far, reflect in writing on the reading:
How has "the wrong-doing of others, fancied or real, had the power to actually kill"?
Have you had the power to "wish them away" (resentments, hurts, harsh judgements...) or do they hijack your mind?

12. Read page 66 from "This was our course..." to page 67, "God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one."

13. For each separate entry, follow "the course."

Prayer with Written Reflection: Help me to realize this person, institution, or principle is spiritually ill, just like me. Reflection: Please show me the truth of how I may have done, or felt like doing, the same thing or something similar to someone else or to myself. Write that realization down.

Prayer: Please give me your Power to show the same tolerance, compassion and patience for this person, institution, or principle, that I would have for a chronically ill friend. How can I be helpful? God, save me from being angry.
Prayer: I pray to put their wrongs out of my mind, to disregard their wrongs entirely and see my own mistakes, where I was or am wrong or to blame. Thy will be done. (derived from the Big Book pages 66 and 67).

Chapter 5: How It Works
(Step 4: Resentment Inventory, Column Four)

How it Works
Step 4: Resentment Inventory, Column 4
Next write my mistakes.

self-centered/selfish:

What self-centered/selfish thoughts and/or attitudes did I have?
Extended Reflections:
- What am I holding on to?
- What larger picture did I fail or am I failing to see?
- How did I fail or am I failing to see someone else's point of view?
- How do I use my painful or shameful past to separate from others?
- How do I use this to separate from God's love and forgiveness?
- What might God's perspective be?

dishonest

What lies did I or am I telling to others or to myself?

Extended Reflections:
- Did I create and respond to a false narrative?
- Does this remind me or bring up something from the past (maybe this person isn't actually who I'm resentful at?)
- What old ideas do I believe? For example, "I believe that to ask for help is a sign of weakness." "I believe that to leave is to admit failure." "I believe that if I tell the truth of my feelings I will be judged, rejected, and alone." "I believe it's my job to change the world." "I believed that all men were going to betray and hurt me because of my childhood experiences." “I believe I have to be “nice” so I keep stuffing my truth.” I believe that God is punishing me so I let him abuse me.”

self-seeking

What self-seeking actions did I take?
Extended Reflections:
- What did I try to get?
- How did I or am I thinking and acting on behalf of only myself, my ambition, my wants and desires?
- How was or am I trying to fill that God-shaped hole?
- How did I or am I not listening to the inner resource, intuitive thought, the God within myself?
- What benefit do I get from my not taking responsibility for my own actions?

afraid

What was I or am I afraid of?
What fears does this bring up from my past, my childhood?

harm

What harm (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual) to others can I see I caused?
Extended Reflections:
- Did my actions and/or attitudes drain someone's energy, distract them from their purpose, damage them in any way, deprive them of something? (Four D's: drain, distract, damage, deprive, ...)
- What harm (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual) to myself can I see? Consider the same four D's for example?

Chapter 5: How It Works
(Step 4: Fear Inventory)

How it Works
Step 4: Fear Inventory

1. Read from page 67 "Notice that the word 'fear' is bracketed..." up to page 68, "At once we commence to outgrow fear." Highlight what resonates.

2. As always when writing, pray for the healing and liberating truth to be revealed before putting pen to paper and remember what led to the Third Step decision.

List all your fears: "We put them on paper, even though we had no resentment in connection with them." For example, "I'm afraid of heights," "I'm afraid of never having a relationship."
Consider if the opposite might also be true: "I'm afraid of having a relationship."

3. Whittle them down to 4-7 core fears. You might ask yourself, "What is the fear under that fear?" in order to whittle down the list.

4. Now write on each one of those core fears using the following questions derived from the Big Book pages just read. These are six questions Fran gave Chandra M. for writing a fear inventory on the core level fears:

What is the name of the fear?
Why do I have it?
What purpose might the fear serve?
How do I act out in self reliance, and how has that self-reliance failed?
What roles do I assign myself and others when I have this fear?
How do I lack the courage of faith?
What do I think God would have me be?

Note: These same questions can be used for other emotions that stem directly from fear: e.g. jealousy, depression, self-hate, confusion, worry, anxiety, stress, comparison)

Chapter 5: How It Works
(Step 4: Sex Inventory, and/or Money, Food...)

How it Works
Step 4: Sex Inventory (or a "conduct" inventory. The same process can be used for Money, Food...) =

1. Read from page 68, "Now about sex..." up to page 70, "...would mean heartache." Highlight what resonates.

2. As always when writing, pray for the healing and liberating truth to be revealed before putting pen to paper and remember what led to the Third Step decision.
List your significant sexual relationships. "Significant" does not necessarily mean long-term. Some relationships impact more than others. If you have been with many many partners, you might group certain individuals, e.g. "men/women I met online," "men/women who paid me for sex," "one (or two) night stands met in bars."
However, this is NOT a resentment inventory. That has been covered before. If when writing this inventory, more resentment is uncovered, go back and write out the four columns before trying to include those individuals in your sex inventory.

3. Answer the following questions about each significant individual or group:

Where have I been selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate?
Whom have I hurt?

Did I unjustifiably arouse jealousy, suspicion, or bitterness?
Where was I at fault?
What should I have done instead?
Was the relationship selfish or not?

4. Pray to form the "right sex ideal." Ask God to mold the ideal.
Write the facets of your ideal down.

How do you want to be (or not be) in your future, sober sex life?
What do you want to do (or not do) in your future sex life?
What relationship do you hope to have with your own sexuality (single or not)?
What might be some of your boundaries within a healthy sexual relationship(s)?
What might be some of your freedoms within a healthy sexual relationship(s)?
How might you form your ideal in a way that allows you to stay sober, clean, and sane? To feel God with you?

This is not a description of your ideal partner but rather an ideal for who you believe God wants you to be and how God wants you to act.

Prayer for a Sex Ideal
God, please help me shape a sane and sound ideal for my future sex life.
Help me to subject each relation to the test of whether it is selfish or not.
Please mold my ideal and help me to live up to it
remembering my sex power is a gift from You and therefore good,
not to be used lightly or selfishly, nor to be despised or loathed.

Help me to be willing to grow towards my ideal,
to make amends when I have caused harm,
to ask You in meditation about each specific matter,
trusting that the right answer will come
because I am willing to listen for and surrender to Your will.

I believe that only You can judge my sex situation,
no one else - You are the final judge.
I do feel sorry for what I did:

(insert your own wrongs here for the purple text)
allowing a man to intimidate me,
using sex to control and manipulate,
making him a false god,

and I do have the honest desire for You to take me to better things.
I pray not to cause more harm as You heal all my relationships with others.

The conduct inventory and ideal mark the close of Step 4.

Chapter 6: Into Action
(Steps 5, 6, and 7)

Into Action
Steps 5, 6, and 7

Step 5
1. Read from page 72 from "Having made our personal inventory..." up to page 75, "...honored by our confidence." Highlight what resonates.

2. Prepare to "explain to your partner* what we are about to do and why we have to do it” (top of page 75). *(sponsor, therapist, priest...)

gap in time - schedule time to read the inventory to your sponsor

3. Read the inventory.
The fruit of Step 5 is a list of those people possibly harmed and the defects of character revealed.

4. After arriving home from reading the inventory, read from page 75, "We pocket our pride" to page 76, "...We have then completed Step Seven," and do precisely what the Big Book says.

If something comes to mind that was omitted from the inventory, call my sponsor.

If I am willing to give all, the good and the bad, to God, I'm ready to say the Seventh Step Prayer written in the second paragraph. It is suggested to say this prayer in a kneeling posture or any posture that encourages a sense of humility (reverence, trust, dignity) in the presence of your Higher Power.

Saying the Seventh Step Prayer marks the CLOSE of Steps Five through Seven.

Chapter 6: Into Action
(Steps 8 and 9)

Into Action
Steps 8 and 9

1. Read page 76 from, "Now we need more action, without which we find that 'Faith without works is dead.'" up to page 84, "They will always materialize if we work for them." (the Ninth Step promises). Highlight what resonates, especially what is relevant to my own amends. The AA Grapevine book "Making Amends" (click here) is highly recommended.

2. Readings
Page 76: "Remember it was agreed at the beginning we would go to any lengths for victory over alcohol."
Page 79: "Reminding ourselves that we have decided to go to any lengths to find a spiritual experience..."
Page 82: "The alcoholic is like a tornado roaring her way through the lives of others..." through, "...We feel a person is unthinking when they say that sobriety is enough."

Am I willing to go to any lengths to make amends to those harmed, including myself:

for victory over alcohol?
to find a spiritual experience?

3. Directions:

Find a set of 3-in by 5-in cards.
In prayer, review your resentment and sex/conduct inventories.
On the front of each card, write down the name of the person, institution, or group of people you may have caused harm to.
In prayer, review your defects of character. Do any additional names of people, institutions, or groups of people come up that may have been harmed? Make a card for each one.
On the front of each card, also write down any contact information you have.
On the back of the card, write down the specific harm(s) you feel you may have caused.
Also, on the back of the card, write down how you mind do this amend, such as:
- in-person
- letter, email
- phone call
- text message
- "living" amend
Assign each card a number from 1 to 5. "Five" means "I am very willing to make this amend" and "1" means "I am not willing to make this amend."
Don't assign a number if you are unsure there is an amend.

3. Bring the cards to the next sponsor meeting in order to review each one.

Suggestions:

Seek to clarify that harm has been caused.
Talk through with your sponsor what you want to actually say, e.g.:
- "Thank you for meeting with me."
- "As part of recovery, it's important for me to make amends where I've caused harm..."
- "I was wrong when I...."
- "Is there anything I have left out that caused you harm?"

Completing amends to the best of my ability marks the CLOSE of Step 9. More amends will always be revealed.

Chapter 6: Into Action
(Steps 10 and 11)

Into Action
Step 10

1. Read page 84 from "This thought brings us to Step Ten..." to page 85, "It is the proper use of the will." Highlight what resonates.

2. What does it mean to me to "cease fighting anything or anyone, even alcohol?"

3. During the next sponsor meeting, review the Tenth Step process of "Watch, Ask, Discuss, Amend, Turn" in detail.

4. Practice Step 10 for at least one week before moving into Step 11. Practice saying, "How can I best serve Thee -- Thy will (not mine) be done" throughout each day.

5. At the next sponsor meeting, discuss experiences with Step 10. What has been noticeable from that experience?

Into Action
Step 11

1. Read page 85 from "Much has already been said..." to the end of Chapter 6. Highlight what resonates. Circle each time the book uses the word "ask."

Page 86
2. Review with sponsor the Eleventh Step practices of "When we retire at night..." and "On awakening..."

3. Practice Step 11. Follow the precise directions in the book for both "When we retire at night..." and "On awakening...".

4. Notice that the book says, "We may not be able to determine what course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or decision. We relax and take it easy. We don't struggle." This is a perfect moment to practice silent meditation in whatever way works.

5. At next sponsor meeting, share personal experiences with the 11th Step spiritual disciplines.

Chapter 7: Working with Others
(Step 12)

Read from the beginning of the chapter up to page 103. Highlight what resonates.
During the next sponsor meeting, read through some of the chapter, talking about the progression of principles suggested, e.g., "cooperate; never criticize", "find out all you can about them", "call on them when they are still jittery; they may be more receptive when depressed", etc...

A good break point is to read up to "Burn the idea into the consciousness of every person that they can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." (page 98)

Notes:

On page 89, some beautiful promises are articulated! Enjoy and live them. Let them come true; acknowledge and "bear witness" when they do!

The reality of Alcoholics Anonymous today is very different than the one which Bill and Bob knew. Heads up: Many people coming in today have a parent(s) who is sober and clean or tried "the program." This means there can be prejudice and or pre-existing beliefs about AA itself. Maybe have sensitivity to that.

The difference in the recovery world of today will be very evident as you move through the chapter. One reason we go to meetings regularly today is because that is where alcoholics generally are guided to go by the courts, doctors, psychologists, the news, family and community members. We practice our Twelfth Step in the meetings, find sponsors and sponsees, learn to be part of life, and therein work through all shapes and sizes of challenges.

Since the worlds are so different, it is recommended to uncover the guiding, suggested principles of Chapter 7, "Working with Others", beginning at the bottom of page 89 with "Perhaps you are not acquainted with...".

For example, notice how many times the book says the itsy bitsy word "if" (Maybe circle it). This suggests the "sponsor" be guided by their "sixth sense," "intuitive thought," "inner resource." It is that ability to respond (response-ability) that makes all the difference whether working with someone virtually, on the phone, or one on one.