Am I now entirely ready to have God take them all? Am I willing to let them go absolutely?
In my first few major inventories and from living sober, I had a longer and longer list of defects, e.g.
Willingness Prayers
Here are twelve examples of willingness prayers my sponsor Constance gave me during the fifth step in 2016:
I pray for the willingness:
In my first few major inventories and from living sober, I had a longer and longer list of defects, e.g.
- approval-seeking, jealousy, selfishness, needing to be right, vanity, self-obsession, suspiciousness, manipulation, pride, sulking, retaliation, gluttony, dishonesty, indifference, pettiness, impatience, perfectionism, arrogance, resistance, bias, self-hate, inattention to community, entitlement, exercising white privilege, cruel criticism, intellectual laziness, stealing, infidelity, sexual immorality, interrupting, irrational fidelity to false beliefs and paradigms, dominating conversations, not listening, inconsideration.... the lists go on and on, ... numbing out with food, rigidity, over-controlling what I eat, texting people I should leave alone...
Willingness Prayers
Here are twelve examples of willingness prayers my sponsor Constance gave me during the fifth step in 2016:
I pray for the willingness:
- to listen with my heart and mind.
- to look at my relationship with you God as the primary source of my self-esteem.
- to feel true love and tolerance for myself and where I am on my path right now.
- to feel true love and tolerance for others and where they are on their path right now.
- to be centripetal à as opposed to centrifugal.
- to practice unconditional love of self and my brothers and sisters.
- to let go of judgement of self and others.
- to know in my heart that my sponsees are not a reflection of me, good or bad.
- to remember that I now have an instruction manual perfectly expressed in the 12 Steps.
- to remember that the more judgmental people are of others, the more they are cruel to themselves.
- to protect others through maintaining anonymity, to protect those who have no words.
- to make room on the Ark for all the animals – the peacocks, cows, sparrows, spiders, snakes, deer, lions, salmon...
And four more recent willingness prayers from 2020:
- I pray for the willingness to release pride and gently embrace humility and anonymity.
- I pray for the willingness to release criticism and embrace fierce unconditional love for self and others.
- I pray for the willingness to release fear and embrace trusting reliance.
- I pray for the willingness to release doubt and embrace the truth of steadfast love and healing.
And seven more recent willingness prayers from 2022:
- I pray for the willingness to release negative thoughts and focus on the positive.
- I pray for the willingness to release isolation and deeply embrace community.
- I pray for the willingness to say "yes" and to say "no" as guided from within.
- I pray for the willingness to be sensitive to others' sensitivities.
- I pray for the willingness to give love and good tools to old-timers, newcomers, and to prioritize work for the unity of the group.
- I pray for the willingness to love and embrace prayer, meditation, self-examination, scripture, singing, good food, connection, healing....
- I pray for the willingness to detach with love.
This photograph was taken as I was leaving the Sea of Galilee and heading back to Jerusalem. The small touring van had given us a couple of hours to meander and reflect within view of where the Sermon on the Mount was delivered, where Peter walked on water, where Legion's demons raged. God gave me the thumbs up.