Saying 55
Jesus said: He who doesn't hate his father and mother cannot be a disciple of mine. He who doesn't hate his brothers and sisters and bear his cross as I do will not be worthy of me.
What a shocking statement, one of the first I heard uttered by Jesus. How could he say that? Aren't we called to "honor our father and mother." Jesus carries a message of surrender all through his days. Let go. "Follow me."
Jesus said: He who doesn't hate his father and mother cannot be a disciple of mine. He who doesn't hate his brothers and sisters and bear his cross as I do will not be worthy of me.
What a shocking statement, one of the first I heard uttered by Jesus. How could he say that? Aren't we called to "honor our father and mother." Jesus carries a message of surrender all through his days. Let go. "Follow me."
While he was still speaking to the people, behold, his mother and his brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him.
But he replied to the man who told him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?”
And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” - Jesus as quoted by Matthew 12:46-50
But he replied to the man who told him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?”
And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” - Jesus as quoted by Matthew 12:46-50
Last night I dreamt that I was on the way to Lowes and the normally hilly and pocked road was extremely extremely steep, worse than being at the top of the highest roller coaster mountain, and what I saw way way down below was a torn road with huge impassable pits. But rather than plummeting down, my car started to float and almost drift forward: I was singing "Trust Me" and feeling that my singing, the connection it was making to God, and the trust in my heart were keeping the car afloat. As the car approached "touchdown" on the other side, on an uphill that included a sharp ledge, the fear came strongly but the landing was soft, gentle.
When I got to Lowe's, there was a package waiting for me at the door. I was confused... the thought came that I was still at home and that the car ride was a dream which turned out to be true. So within a dream, I awakened to find out that the trip was a dream, when I thought and felt it was real. The package was sent to my home address and included a bright red purse from my mother, her golf clubs, and some kind of trashy confusing kids toy... I felt burdened by the "gifts," irrelevant and unwanted clutter.
What does this dream have to do with Saying 55? I "hate my mother and father" in their inborn, natural human need for me to be dependent on them, to value what they value (red purse= blood-derived wealth), believe what they believe (golf clubs=exclusivity), see the world through their eyes (trashy, confusing toy=addiction to distraction). I had to separate from my father, mother, sisters, brothers in order to find a relationship with a Higher Power, my own values, beliefs, perspective.
This "hatred" is true of my own two daughters. They must separate from me, as must my brother and sister separate from me. The vehicle that brought me to this planet is the very one I must evacuate in order to enter the Kingdom. Over time, this has put me into a loving relationship with my natal family, just as Jesus was at peace with his mother and sister while also knowing his purpose and communicating that clearly to them.
So much of the work of staying close to God is about letting go of the life I was raised to and am bombarded by the culture to want!
When I got to Lowe's, there was a package waiting for me at the door. I was confused... the thought came that I was still at home and that the car ride was a dream which turned out to be true. So within a dream, I awakened to find out that the trip was a dream, when I thought and felt it was real. The package was sent to my home address and included a bright red purse from my mother, her golf clubs, and some kind of trashy confusing kids toy... I felt burdened by the "gifts," irrelevant and unwanted clutter.
What does this dream have to do with Saying 55? I "hate my mother and father" in their inborn, natural human need for me to be dependent on them, to value what they value (red purse= blood-derived wealth), believe what they believe (golf clubs=exclusivity), see the world through their eyes (trashy, confusing toy=addiction to distraction). I had to separate from my father, mother, sisters, brothers in order to find a relationship with a Higher Power, my own values, beliefs, perspective.
This "hatred" is true of my own two daughters. They must separate from me, as must my brother and sister separate from me. The vehicle that brought me to this planet is the very one I must evacuate in order to enter the Kingdom. Over time, this has put me into a loving relationship with my natal family, just as Jesus was at peace with his mother and sister while also knowing his purpose and communicating that clearly to them.
So much of the work of staying close to God is about letting go of the life I was raised to and am bombarded by the culture to want!
Saying 56
Jesus said: Whoever has known the world has found a corpse; whoever has found that corpse, the world is not worthy of him.
I think back to the quote about the old man taking council with the seven-day-old child. The secret is lived before the matrix is entered on day eight. Once I find the corpse, I assume I'll be on my last breath. That's when my worth is greatest and I move on. Maybe that's why people smile when they know death is imminent, like my friend Maria. I felt compelled to tel her the truth that she was dying (as I saw it) and she smiled. When I got home that day, there was a Ted talk at the top of my inbox, "Am I dying? the honest answer." A paramedic talked about his journey with fatally injured people, moments away from death. He had been prohibited by law from telling them the truth but once he broke free of that and started to do so, every person smiled upon hearing the news.
Another possibility is that "the corpse" is what I experienced when I had my moment of clarity that brought me to the rooms of AA, "You are going to die this way or live this way. There is absolutely nothing you can do to stop," coupled with the experience at six months sober of "sobriety is not the answer. Drinking and its way of life were the solutions." The latter brought me into the Steps and a relationship with a Higher Power. It's hard to say the world is not worthy of me in this case. I don't feel worthy of my life, or unworthy... just deeply grateful. More will be revealed.
Saying 57
Jesus said: The Kingdom of the Father is like a man with good seed. His enemy came at night and scattered the seed of weeds in with the good seed. The man did not let them pull out the weeds but said, "Don't do it. You might pull out the grain along with the weeds." During the harvest the weeds will be obvious, and then they can be removed and burned.
We are all in the world's mix making our choices one day at a time. Choosing prayer in the morning has become a way of life, so much so that I find myself getting habit drenched. I must keep listening for what God is showing me, guiding me to, wanting me to hear, each moment, each day. Unlike the grain, I can easily become a weed again! God shows up in the circumstances of my life. Stay awake, friend! Jesus is making us aware of two forces, just like the yin yang symbol or the Tale of Two Wolves. Both matter as they comprise the whole and must be discerned.
Recently, it made sense to me that the original story of the Two Wolves did not entail feeding only the good wolf but rather involved feeding both wolves so that neither becomes voracious; that way, the two wolves can live side by side in harmony, just as do the weeds and the grain. This is part of the message of Jesus here, too, that seeking to eradicate the weeds is not my job. In Step 7, I give both "good and bad" to my Creator, to do with me as he will. I am awake to my defects of character but God will use them for his purposes. My job is to stay conscious and be led in an awakened state. The reason the grain might come up with the wheat is because the roots are intertwined. Remember Jesus said, "Why do you call me good?"
Jesus said: The Kingdom of the Father is like a man with good seed. His enemy came at night and scattered the seed of weeds in with the good seed. The man did not let them pull out the weeds but said, "Don't do it. You might pull out the grain along with the weeds." During the harvest the weeds will be obvious, and then they can be removed and burned.
We are all in the world's mix making our choices one day at a time. Choosing prayer in the morning has become a way of life, so much so that I find myself getting habit drenched. I must keep listening for what God is showing me, guiding me to, wanting me to hear, each moment, each day. Unlike the grain, I can easily become a weed again! God shows up in the circumstances of my life. Stay awake, friend! Jesus is making us aware of two forces, just like the yin yang symbol or the Tale of Two Wolves. Both matter as they comprise the whole and must be discerned.
Recently, it made sense to me that the original story of the Two Wolves did not entail feeding only the good wolf but rather involved feeding both wolves so that neither becomes voracious; that way, the two wolves can live side by side in harmony, just as do the weeds and the grain. This is part of the message of Jesus here, too, that seeking to eradicate the weeds is not my job. In Step 7, I give both "good and bad" to my Creator, to do with me as he will. I am awake to my defects of character but God will use them for his purposes. My job is to stay conscious and be led in an awakened state. The reason the grain might come up with the wheat is because the roots are intertwined. Remember Jesus said, "Why do you call me good?"